What I Love and Hate in Being a Single Dad
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| What I Love and Hate Being a Single Dad |
When I started to become a single dad, I haven’t thought that it would be this hard. My expectations was it would be all happiness and pleasure.
What I didn’t knew back then that it would come at some point that I’ll hate it. Doing things a man shouldn’t be doing, staying up at three a.m., etc. What do you expect? Being a single dad is the hardest job I’ve ever done in my life. But that stress I got into has been fulfilled with an overflowing love and cuteness from my son.
It was like driving a ferrari on a rough road. Really, the struggles are real and if you’re a single parent you’ll understand what I’m saying.
Well if you ask if I regret all of this, my answer is definitely a no.
I love being a single dad. I can’t even compare it to anything material. But I hate what I have to go through.
What I hate about being a single dad?
I won’t be saying the truth if I say that I love every aspects of being one. There’s just some things I hate about going through this process.
Feeling stuck
Moving forward was what I should be doing but I just felt a little stucked.It seems like it’s going to last forever. I feel down and can’t do anything to improve the situation.
I didn’t knew what to do and what would happen in the near future.
Do I really deserved to receive full custody of my son? Can I give him a bright future? Those things were running inside my head.
But I know I can get over it. I just don’t know how to do it.
Lonely
Imagine spending all day with a baby who can’t understand you. You would want someone who you can talk to about life.
About how fucked up you ended after you have chosen the wrong woman. You needed some advice.
I somehow managed this one a little cause I still have a little companion. My son, which at that time I don’t realize
No Sleep
It’s three in the morning, my 7 month old son cried out loud like he’s been abused.
I checked on him.
I changed his diaper, still crying. (Okay, just hungry.)
I gave him milk, didn’t want. (Why?)
I carried him, he stopped crying. (Oh, you want a hug?)
I gently rocked him in my arms, he’s back to sleep. (Good grief!)
I tried to put him back inside the crib. (Mission success)
I got back in bed. (Ugh, thanks god!)
Slept for 5 mins, baby cried again. (What!?)
I got him, rocked gently, he’s back to sleep. (Okay, try again.)
I tried to put back inside crib. (Sleep tight.. gentle taps on thigh.)
Cried again (Feeling like I also want to.)
Carried him again, rocked again. (Please?)
I tried to put back in crib.
Repeated the whole process until six a.m.
And success! He’s awake.
What a lovely scene. I didn’t knew what’s wrong. And I have to go to work in like two hours.
No more beers
I love beers. Every sip, you feel the light bitterness. Oh, I can still imagine it. How long has it been since I last drank a bottle of one? Hmm..
Yes, it’s been five months since I tasted one but I don’t want to let my son cry out the whole night just because I’m drunk.
My ex wife can’t even wake me up when I’m drunk. I won’t imagine my son doing that.
Now I can control my urge to drink. I’ll just put sprite in a big mug, put some lemon juice, fill with ice then pretend it’s a fucking beer.
You should try that, it tastes good.
But what do I love about being a single dad?
There’s a lot of things I love about being a single dad, but here’s a few of them:
Everything I Hated
Even though I hated some things, I’m good now. Hating those things really helped me mature a lot and improve my patience.
Having the sense of responsibility isn’t a common thing for young adult guys like me.
I see men at my age still partying and not realizing that they just throw away their time and money for nonsense shit.
Also, being lonely helped me meditate and calm my mind. I have no idea that a quiet place is very relaxing!
No beers? No more problem to that. I already got discipline running my blood and soul. Hehe. But if I got a chance, I’m happy to drink a little.
What this taught me is moderation, patience and discipline.
My child’s milestones
My son is eleven months old now, he starts speaking “dada” , “mama”
I am really happy that I get to hear my son speak up his first words, witness him stand on his on feet and walk for the first time.
Those hard times, sleepless nights and tiredness from all things you get from a long day will fade away after seeing a smile from your child.
You’re right if you think that single parenthood is hard, but happiness you’ll get triples!
No more default laws
A clean house sure is relaxing. If you’re a single dad, there’s no law that says you can’t leave the mess overnight!
You work, feed your child, wash clothes and dishes but you still have a lot more to do to clean your house. But not now! Hohoho
My son won’t really care if we sleep while the house is messy. No nagging! Yay!
Full control
I got full custody of my son. I can send him to whatever school I want. Enroll him to things he’s interested and we get to bond without feeling someone left at home.
But just to be clear, I’ll just control over my parental responsibilities.
I don’t plan to control on what religion he wants, courses to take and hobbies to do. Support is the only thing I can do for that.
What I mean on having full control is the general decisions inside the house. What to eat, what to spend to, when to sleep etc.
Conclusion
We have all have different things that we love and hate about being a single parent. Those were just my opinion.
Being a single parent is hard and tough but we all receive unlimited happiness. No matter how tough the situation is, a child is a gift to all parents.
How about you: What do you love and hate about being a single parent
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